A breakup can be a highly confusing event in a man’s life. There are uncertainties concerning every last detail such as how to handle it, how to get over it, even how to get her back. Naturally, these uncertainties are accompanied by questions.
As a relationship coach I spend a good part of my day answering these questions and after consulting with over 1,200 men on this matter, these are the four most common ones I regularly receive.
1. What are my chances of getting her back?
Out of all the questions this is both the most common (and most difficult) one to answer. It is impossible for anyone to predict the chances of saving a relationship. There are too many factors involved to make an accurate assessment (e.g. the reason for the breakup, the length of the relationship, etc.). However, there are always things one can do to drastically increase their chances which will be covered in the next FAQ.
2. What is the right way to go about winning a girl back?
While this answer requires a full book, even a volume of books, to do its question justice, I’ll do my best to sum it up. Depending on the relationship in question a guy must take either a proactive approach or a reactive approach to getting a girl back.
As a general rule of thumb the former is warranted for short-term relationships (3 months or less) while the latter for longer ones. A proactive approach involves being direct in letting her know what you want, and following through with action (e.g. asking her to continue dating but on a toned-down level so that you both can get over any hurdles and work towards a longer relationship).
In contrast, the reactive approach involves stepping back from the situation and letting her call the shots (e.g. you contact her only when she does and you don’t directly state your intentions unless she asks you to). It’s an approach that defies logic but a very effective one nonetheless.
3. How long does it take to get a girl back?
In my experience, the average amount of time it takes for a couple to get back together is 3 months. However, each relationship is unique and therefore it would be foolish to expect the same results with yours. Some guys get their girls back within days – others take six months or more.
The important thing is not how long it’s taking to get her back, but the amount of progress being made on a day to day basis. As long as you’re headed in the right direction you can rest easy knowing that the reunion day will eventually come. And as with any matter involving conflict resolution, patience is required with breakups as well.
4. Should I ever give up trying, and if so: when?
This is the fourth most common question and the one I dread answering. Getting back together with someone is no easy task. It takes time, effort, and commitment. So, with this in mind, if you find yourself asking this from the beginning you’re starting out on the wrong foot. All this does is condition you to focus on the negative aspect of relationship repair and set you up to fail.
It’s important to be realistic, especially when it comes to breakups, however do your best to push realism aside until you have at least a month of results and can draw some meaningful conclusions. Only then should you decide if you want to pursue this girl further and for how long.
In conclusion, while these 4 questions only brush upon the topic of getting a girl back after a breakup, having the answers to them is a great start in putting your own relationship repair strategy in place.
About the Author: Dr. Karanastasis is recognized as the leading expert on men’s relationship repair and creator of the first-of-its-kind course, “How To Get Her Back For Good – A Shortcut Strategy For Getting Your Girlfriend Back Without Using Tricks, Tactics, or Manipulating Mind-Games” based on the successful consultations of over 1,200 men in a wide variety of breakup situations.
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