By Marie LaSor
If you’re wondering if everything is okay with your marriage, chances are that it’s not. The fact that you’re even questioning it, is a sign that your marriage needs some work. The good news is that if you’re willing to work on it, you can fix it. By “you” I mean you singular, not the two of you. If you do the right stuff, the rest will fall into place. So even if your husband is oblivious to any problems, or maybe he knows there are problems, but just doesn’t want to work on them, you, yourself, can still make the difference.
In a bit, I’m going to show you a system to make your husband happier with you. And NO, I’m not implying that there’s anything wrong with you or anything about you that needs to be changed or improved necessarily (but there might be). The reality is that right now you only have control over you and what you do, so we are going to work with that. You’ll learn the secret later on.
You may be thinking, “why should I do all of the work?”. It’s not fair, you say? Well, think of it this way, you will be reaping the reward too, right? If you can make your marriage better, that will only mean a happier, better life for you, so why wouldn’t you want to try regardless of whether or not your husband is putting any effort into it or not. I know that it’s easy to think that he should be putting forth as much effort as you, and you may be right – he should be. But, he’s not so would you rather put forth the effort and be happier or take comfort in the fact that if he’s not going to do anything, then neither are you and be miserable?
Anytime you get discouraged, just tell yourself that you’re really doing this for you – to make yourself happier with the outcome of a happier marriage. It’s kind of a catch 22 because you want to fell like being nice before you act nice, but in reality, you may have to act nice before you actually feel like acting nice. If it helps you, think of it as being an actor and playing a roll. It won’t take long for him to start responding to you differently, and then you really will feel like acting nicer.
Another advantage of doing this work yourself is that you’ll be much more in control of your relationship than you probably feel now. This control will give you amazing clarity and insight into your marriage. You’ll be able to evaluate it objectively without the worry which will lift a weight off your shoulders, I assure you.
There are certain things that some women do that seem to attract men. Somehow these women just seem to have men fall all over them wanting to be with them, wanting to do things for them, but how? A lot of these women are not extraordinarily beautiful, and some might even be quite plain, and yet, men just can’t seem to get enough of them. But somehow, it seems the more you “try” the more nothing works.
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